No carbs were in that meal of meat, I sit now on the toilet seat,
The air it smells, my head it hurts, the evening’s memories are in spurts.
We leave the house, we’re in a car, we chat with wife, we’re at a bar
We meet with friends, it’s going well…“Brian’s leaving, what the hell?”
For with no carbs to soak the booze, into my bloodstream it infused,
Emotions ranged from mad to weepy, then quickly changed to very sleepy.
It’s not ideal, and not my choosing, I get that way when I’ve been boozing
Some throw-up, and some folks cry, my friends they call me “Sleepy Bri.”
I stumbled home, the half a block, and fumbled with our front door lock
Crawled into bed, and groped my wife, I passed out hard…this is my life.
I’m sorry that I skipped the tab, and hopefully you took a cab
So next time we go drinking bound, I’ll make sure to buy a round.
And if we go to feast next year, I’m bringing bread as well as beer,
For meat alone is quite insane, and leaves one’s head and ass in pain.